Just Stand Up

I follow guidance a lot. Some people have no idea what I mean when I say that. I'll explain, just briefly, exactly what it means to me.

There is a knowing available to all human beings, part conscience, part Holy Spirit. With muscle testing, or a pendulum, or dowsing rods, or by listening to the voices of angels, or meditating, or reading tarot cards/tea leaves/I Ching/Runes, or any other of the thousands of ways of finding truth through tools, anyone (really, anyone) can become more familiar with this deep connection to a greater awareness.

For me, the journey began with cards. It passed through many other forms, because I am endlessly curious. I have used something like seventeen different forms of divination. Eventually, I studied healing arts, and became more direct in my questions. Then, after long practice, I found that my asking no longer needed tools. In fact, I had used them for so long that the answers arrived more quickly than my tools could respond.

Now, I get very direct prompting. Sometimes it's because I'm asking a question, and I am given an answer. Sometimes, it because I haven't asked, but probably should have, and I am given an answer. The universe definitely has a sense of humor.

Some might ask, "Who is answering?" I can't say for sure. I name them, according to the stories I know, the sense I get of the personalities behind my interactions with Spirit. I know the results are positive. And the proof is in the pudding. If I was led to do destructive things, I would be very skeptical. It never happens that way. Always, my work with the unseen has granted me new insight, healing intuition, and opening to greater strength and connection.

And so it was this Sunday. I like to attend the Spiritualist Church in Austin. It's a bit of a drive, though, and I only go when guided to go. This was one of those weeks. I knew on Thursday that I'd be attending. Usually, this is because I need a healing boost, or someone is going to give me a particularly important message from spirit. This time it was more.

When the healing part of the service came, I asked my guides if I ought to offer healing. They answered no. I asked if I ought to receive healing. Again, no. Well,I thought, it must be the message, then. And sure enough, I was the first in the congregation to be offered a message. That done, though, I finally realized why I was there. Not to receive, but to deliver.

Okay, I can do that. I've had practice in performance with channeling. But more, and here's where the sense of humor comes in, my guides wouldn't tell me anything else. I went round with them for a minute or two. "I'm supposed to deliver a message?" "Yes." "Well, what is it?" No answer. "Who is it for?" No answer. "Look, I'm supposed to deliver a message, right?" "Yes." I can hear them laughing, now.

So I know I'm missing something. Hmmm. I finally stop asking questions and just listen for a moment. You know what they say?

"Just stand up and you'll know what to do next."

Oh, dang. This is one of those "trust in me" moments. Visions of standing in front of an expectant crowd and having nothing to say... Ack!! Of course, my guides are plenty amused, but I'm just trying to pluck up the courage. And finally, at the last possible moment, because they were about to go on to announcements, I find myself standing.

(I'm still not sure I did that completely on purpose.)

I even have a chance to sit back down, but I don't like to chicken out on anything, especially Spirit tapping me on the arm. So off I go, to stand in the aisle and have nothing prepared. My heart is pounding so hard I can't hear for a moment. I feel my face flush. But I'm in for the whole of it, now. And as I take a breath and deliberately calm myself, things get easier.

One face in the crowd seemed lighter and more focused than all the others. Well, that must be the one. I ask and receive permission from her to deliver a message. Still don't have one to deliver, but permission is a good start... I take a breath and suddenly, there's an image, a single rose bud, dew speckled, gently unfolding. Well, look at that... I wonder what it means... I describe it to her, and as I'm speaking, the meaning comes to me, as well.

Wow, that was easy. Well, it was pretty hard, actually to overcome my fear, but the delivering was simple, at least. And again. A face, then permission, then an image, then the explanation. And my guides let me off the hook with just two. Sigh of relief, sit down again. Lesson complete.

What have I learned? Well, ego needs humbling sometimes. I learned that I don't get to control how Spirit works through me. And I am well reminded of the value of trust, and that the truest purpose of intuition is as service to a greater good and community.

Spirit has a plan for me, and I have, in fact, committed myself to becoming the instrument of Divine Will. So this is what that looks like.

"Just stand up, and you'll know what to do next."

Namaste,
Crow