Sigil

~pronounced si'juhl, n. a sign or image considered magical

This is the third sigil I've constructed in recent months, and as I've come to expect, the universe responded promptly with gratifying results.

I build sigils for the purpose of solidifying intention. All wishcrafting, whether you call it prayer or manifestation or co-creation or majick, is basically telling the universe in no uncertain terms that you desire a particular outcome.

I used to build primarily with stones, especially crystals for their particular colors and properties. Now, though, I find it easy to build a sigil with almost any material. Here, as you can see, I've used canvases, paints, and brushes. The purpose of this creation was to increase the flow of canvas through my life. I intend to buy more canvas, paint more, complete more art, show more often, and sell more work. Which will, of course, make it possible for me to buy more canvas!

Sigil building is like any good manifesting project, and certain things are required for success. First, I find I must be very clear about my intention. Second, I need to be sure that my motivation is positive and designed to support more than just my own well being. A fuzzy vision, or selfish or limiting motives will generally render the sigil ineffective.

The building of the pattern itself is best accomplished in a near meditative state. Activation of the brain on both sides, being in low beta or actual alpha state, brings a balance of conscious thought and attunement to the broader realms of intuition and Spirit. I won't even try to build it if I feel agitated or upset about anything. And finally, I need to be willing to follow the pattern as it expands outward, without having preconceived notions about how it's supposed to happen. In other words, I need to let go of controlling it, and allow it to unfold in whatever magical sideways manner it will!

And indeed, that's what happened for me on this one. I built it last Friday. I had no sooner finished when I noticed I had a new email. My friend Jamye had sent me the name of a local man who hosts temporary art displays, and she had sent him my email and website. Fast, that was! I later added a bunch of cash to the pattern, placing bills of every denomination under the brushes. One way of putting my money where my mouth is... I took it down on Saturday evening. For me, I like to have them in place anywhere from a day to a week, because the longer they sit, the stronger an impression they leave.

Yesterday, I followed my guidance and went to an open circle at the Spiritualist Church in Austin. Such a great group of people! If you're looking for a very whole minded community, this might be it. You can check out their schedule at http://www.fscoa.org/ Anyway, before I went, I realized that I wanted to wear a sarong over my thin top. Partly for modesty, and partly because they seem so happy about air conditioning there, and I didn't want to shiver in meditation. So I stopped by New Age Books. I'm sorting through the selection, and I overhear the word labyrinth from a conversation at the register.

I join in and find that this woman wants to build a labyrinth in her yard, and she's looking for guidance about how to proceed. So, that's my cue- I tell her that I design and build them. In the end, she takes a card for herself, and extras to give to friends, and the woman behind the register sends me to the back of the store to hang some on the bulletin board. All because I listened to my intuition and went not only to Austin for the open circle, but to buy a sarong to feel more comfortable and therefore more present in the moment.

The meditation was great, and we put focus on generating peace and harmony across the globe. There were people I knew and people I didn't. Afterward, I paused to chat with some people, and one of the women I hadn't met before is a fellow shaman, complete with the scar where lightning struck her. And when I told her I'm from Dripping Springs, she casually replied- "Oh cool! I'm helping a friend set up an art show out there." Back to the truck I ran for more cards. Hooray!

I'm still almost giddy with joy, as I write this. Tired from staying up late, a little overwhelmed with being a mom and an educator and an arist, but at base, very happy. We live in a truly abundant reality. There's a wonderful quote I found on a Seek to Know article, and it sums up the falsehood of scarcity quite well-

"Given the resources on Earth, every man, woman, and child should be a millionaire many times over" - Buckminster Fuller

We will know no peace until there is equity and justice. We can only create equity and justice by letting go of our greed and fear. Go build a sigil for yourself, let your intention sprout into the world, let your vision find others of like mind. Call me if you like, or drop me an email and I'll help you with it. The universe wants you to be happy~ it wants all of us to be happy! All you have to do is ask from the heart and let it happen.

Namaste,
Crow

Fifth Decade Beginning

I began my first decade in Riverside California, born early to a pair of people who went where the current carried them- namely into the uncharted waters of parenthood. It was rocky for them, being unfinished with their own growth. I was calm in the midst of thier folly, except when I was frightened or sad. Unfortunately these less cherished emotions became more common as time passed. I gradually accumulated two brothers and a sister. They were more real to me than my parents, because they were more honest. I am very grateful that I have siblings. Even if our paths are widely divergent now, I feel somewhat anchored in the world, knowing that there are several stories unfolding that began where mine did. The theme of my first decade was curiosity. I grew and time passed.

My second decade started in Clovis, a suburb of Fresno and an agricultural town in the heart of the frying pan known as the San Joaquin Valley. I spent all summer in the swimming pool of our apartment complex, only coming back to the apartment for food or sleep. (This is only a mild exaggeration...) During the school year I alternately delighted my teachers with brilliant aptitude and drove them mad with willful disobedience. It was a good balance. I studied music in the form of choir and clarinet, which have influenced the whole rest of my life. I express humble and lasting gratitude for the teaching and dedication of Mr. Bird. I ran cross country and track with prodigal success. I learned to love nature and the wilderness on backpacking and camping trips to the many state and national forests in California. This my father did right. I observed the many reasons why perpetual journeys into drunkeness and marijuana induced idiocy were a bad plan. Many thanks to my uncle and father for their fine counterexample. To this day, I am completely uninterested in alcohol or recreational drugs. My mother had finally divorced my father, and sheltered two of my siblings in southern California. I conspired with my remaining brother, Jack, to hide our indiscretions from our father, mostly with nominal success. The theme of my second decade was discernment. Time passed and I grew.

By the start of my third decade, I had left California far behind. I lived in scenic Rockport, Massachusetts with my third great love and our cats. There was a lovely wholeness to that existence, a sufficiency that kept us on an even keel for a long time. We both found enough joy to need no other friends. I'm still surprised by this, in hindsight, though at the time, it bore no scrutiny. I worked for a motivational speaker named Richard Tosti, who showed me many new ideas, and taught me that the message and the messenger are not necessarily the same. I still studied, though my abortive attempts at formal education had clarified that it would likely never be a good fit for me. Instead, I read voraciously. I traveled the little walked pathways of mysticism, journeying steadily toward New Age culture while maintaining a discerning eye and a skeptical mind. I progressed through a Course in Miracles. I minimized the impact of normalcy by reading lots of fantasy and science fiction. I played tabletop role playing games with anyone I could find. I am immensely grateful for the strength of my imagination. The theme of my third decade was exploration. I grew and time passed.

The beginning of fourth decade found me back in California. My third love had passed out of my life, lost in the journey through parenthood. Take heed- those waters remain rocky for those unfinished in their own growth. I had adapted to the best of my abilities, learned to love Texas, found purpose in self manifestation, and gained strength and courage while working for the San Marcos Fire Department. My first son Robby was six, and he stayed in Texas with his father while I went to California to study. I learned two things- how to engage in violence and how to engage in healing. Both important in their own times. I also found my fourth great love, and made him central to my reality. I met cherished friends, full of humor and grace. I especially honor Evan Ten Brink, who showed me true generosity and the meaning of pay it forward, long before the movie came to the screen. I partook of Wymyn's community, knowing that I was only a visitor, and cherishing the things I learned that I would someday bring home to share with similar gatherings in Texas. Especially the concept of Amazon, the self made woman warrior who is no obedient soldier, but rather a self directed tool of destruction used in defense of those who cannot defend themselves. Women do not have to accept the patriarchal designations of maiden, mother, and crone. Indeed, while these three roles are always options, women have many other choices. The theme of my fourth decade was autonomy. Time passed and I grew.

One thing is clear from all I have written. Standing at the beginning of a decade offers little hope of seeing what will transpire in the ten years to follow. I have goals; I have aspirations, and I have no way of knowing which ones will flower and which will die barely sprouted. I know this about myself- I am always changing. In ten years, I will be something more and different than I am now. What, exactly, will take that long to discover. I might be an internationally recognized builder of labyrinths, a published author with a wide following, a famous artist, or all of these, or none of these. I plan to make the theme of my fifth decade accomplishment.

I am forty, now. In these four short decades, the world has become so much more and less, so different in the realm of man, so damaged in the realm of nature. What will the world look like by the time my life comes to an end? Will there be polar bears or ice caps or keyboards? Likely these will be things of the past, replaced with floating gardens near the polar zones where the weather is something the plants can survive, and voice recognition software for interactive processor implants... I don't know. I know this- time will pass, and I will continue to grow.

Namaste,
Crow

Evolution and Pacing

I keep thinking that I'm coming to a resting point, that the frenetic pace of my growth and transformation will abate. Then I go do something supposedly restful and find myself further accelerated. Like riding a motorcycle at 95 miles per hour, like giving myself to the eight foot waves of a stormy Pacific, I am riding the immense power, delicately balanced between flight and destruction.

My teachers are climbing out of the woodwork. My young helper for masonry, my fellow Zaadster with a strong penchant for community, my son and his video game, the new/old friend I met last night who knows the relationship between tantra and the Qabbalah. Rest is apparently something I'm not yet needing.

Omalika is an amazing creature. He's nearly eighteen, going on twelve at times, going on sixty at others. He was born in Hawaii to a mother who is willfully independent, hailing from a well to do family in Taiwan. He was un-schooled and organically grown, which may well account for his balance of wisdom and practicality. His Aunt has been in a coma for forty years, outliving both her parents and bringing to light some of the failings of Taiwan's medical institutions. (This link will clarify that story, if you are interested~
www2.unescobkk.org/eubios/ABC4/abc4099.htm ) His family reality is complex, to say the least. He has a very generous heart, and an eye for perfection that delights me when we work on masonry together. He brings me movies and anime that range from beautiful and depressing to gentle and whimsical. I appreciate him more all the time, especially for his ability to bring laughter to our work.

Frank is a gem of a human being. He is a remarkable blend of extrovert and self sufficiency. No flashiness or need to be seen. He is genuinely attuned to the needs of others, and thinks outwardly all the time. He also has a talent for trusting the process and saying what he's hearing, even if it doesn't make sense to him. It always makes sense to me, and it's usually exactly what I need to hear. He is a brilliant prosperity coach, and if you seek such guidance, you can contact him via his website~

http://www.frankbutterfield.us/

I'm so lucky to have found him, here and now, when I need a wise and stable ear for some of my trials, a companion for spiritual adventure, and a friend with excellent integrity and humor.

Zander is as delightful as ever. We have been easy on each other from the start, which I have always appreciated, since Robby and I are like oil and water. Having a difficult first parenting experience makes it very easy to be grateful for the easy one that follows. Of course, I can see the ways that I made things worse between Robby and I, and I learn from those errors, determined not to repeat my mistakes with Zander. Lately, we have embarked on a quest of mythic proportions, at least in cyberspace. Our alternate reality of choice is called Dragonquest 8. And perhaps it is where I take my rest. The quest is simple, the dangers are manageable, the resources are plentiful, and every problem has a solution. Not very much like reality as I have known it. And very much like reality as I have known it. Hmm, opposite but true. I guess it depends on my outlook at the time.

I attended a feast for those who choose live foods, last night. It was a delight, and a bit overwhelming, with so many new faces, so many powerful presences. I enjoyed the food and the connections. I was careful not to let myself be overwhelmed by the currents of energy. I plan to attend again, next month. There was a presentation, and the teacher and I had good rapport. Later we sat on the Greenbrier labyrinth, which is happily located near the potluck site. She also supports me in my vision of becoming whole and empowered. Life is generous, indeed.

Namaste,
Crow